Have you got your figures right?
The situaton doesn't look that bad. Reads more like you need to sit down and do some proper financial accounting and planning. You've got £45k equity in one property (about 32%) and £5k in another.
You don't say whether the mortgage values are those outstanding or just the value taken out.
I don't see how you're going to make a loss on the £140k property if you sell. Any capital gains will only be on the profit made so if there's £10k profit then that's what you pay tax on.
£20k on credit cards although a large sum is certainly manageable. Be a card tart and off load it onto a lower rate card. Moneysavingexpert . com has lots of clear and helpful information. The important thing is to not keep spending on them (see below).
Given your combined income you should easily be able to 'afford' this situation. Sounds like you just need some basic home economics.
There is always scope for misinterpretation.
If my posts can be interpreted in two ways, one that makes you feel angry and one that doesn't, I meant the latter.
Everyday is an opportunity to learn something new.